domingo, 14 de enero de 2007

La batalla...o algo así


Este es la primera vez que escribo aquí así que...Hola y adiós a algunos que no les gustara.

Les relatare una historia que tengo en mi mente desde hace mucho. Esto tuvo sitio en mi antigua secundaria, si hace ya años de esto, es la historia de mi primera y única pelea, disfruten y no dejen que los leve a estos tiempos.


Sopla el viento en este cálido día de verano, cálido siendo un eufenismo para jodidisimamente caliente, sigo con mi sudorosa existencia a los entes que caminan junto a mi en dirección al salón de clases donde tomaremos la clase de mecánica automotriz de la cual ya tenemos 2 años tomándola y la mayoría aun no sabemos ni cambiar una bujía.

Entro al edificio con velocidad y tomo uno de los asientos en la parte trasera, donde supuse habría menos ruido y evitare problemas con los numerosos, cual sera la palabra correcta aquí, si, imbéciles con los que tomo clases. Por supuesto no todos son así, tengo uno que otro amigo, pero eso no vale la pena hablar en este momento.


La verdad este día no es de clases, todos lo saben, el profesor tiene cara de que tuvo "fiesta" el día anterior así que tenemos dos horas libres, siempre y cuando no abandonemos el lugar.
Busco a alguien cercano para intercambiar un par de palabras sin sentido, al no encontrar a nadie con el coeficiente de poner dos palabras con coherencia juntas tomo uno de mis cuadernos y comienzo a hacer la tarea de una de las materias de las cuales olvide hacer.

No pasan 10 minutos antes de que uno de mis cercanos me menciona como se le olvido a hacer la tarea a el también y como se le haría un amable gesto que yo le apoyase en ese aspecto, aunque lo dijo con otras palabras algo parecidas a estas: "A la madre wey la tarea, no seas culón y la pasas we, ¿sale wey?

Yo le respondo con un simple "si" El camino más fácil a terminar dicha conversación presumí.
Al terminar mi trabajo con la peor letra que pude para que mi vecino batallase al copiarla se la entregue tan discretamente como pude.

Y me encontré de nuevo sin nada que hacer cuando de pronto y sin avizo oigo el zumbar de un proyectil al pasar junto a mi dándole en la cara a un distraido joven de compleccion robusta. El auto declarado atacante lanzo un grito de victoria al ver que la mochila lanzada había dado en el blanco, después de este se burlo del objetivo de esta manera..."JAJA, le di al pinchi gordo, JAJA"

El resto del salón rió del pobre joven que se había convertido en blanco del ataque, aunque no por mucho ya que había tomado el objeto arma y la relanzo con un nuevo blanco. Después de estos sucesos el edificio no tardo en convertirse en un campo de batalla. Mientras me protegía de tras de propia mochila busque con la vista al profesor que no se encontraba en su lugar lo cual significaba que la batalla no se iba a detener por el.

De la nada sentí un rozón en mi cabeza, una mochila había fallado en su blanco por centímetros, pero esto no me detendría de defender mi honor así que tomé el misil y lo lance con blanco incierto cuando oí un grito de las proximidades.

-HEY, hijo de tu chingada madre- dijo el joven que se me acercaba- esa era mi mochila pendejo

Yo pensé en intentar arreglar esto con política-A mi me la tiraron wey, yo nomas la devolví- le explique.

-Mamadas, ve por ella verga- pidió con elocuencia, a lo cual yo me reuse.

-Como que no, pendejo- me dijo. Después de esto sin darme cuenta ya estaba de pie y frente a el, yo era unos 14 cm mas alto que el así que creo cierto impacto dramático.

-Haber Cabrón, ya ve por mi mochila pendejo- insistió.

A esto respondí con toda mi alma y conocimiento en el campo de la política y problemas comunes de las sociedades, sonó algo así.

-¡Chinga tu madre!- estás palabras sonaron como un canto de victoria verbal, así que me di la vuelta satisfecho con victoria, pero oh que error de principiante el mio, ya que el contrincante se sintió ofendido y se abalanzó sobre mi dando un golpe en mi lóbulo derecho con su puño mientras yo me encontraba de espaldas.

Tan pronto me recobre sentido de lo que pasaba me di la vuelta y lo mire con ese odio con el que se mira a un adversario. El respondió con una mirada que interprete como "Ya valí madre". Lo tome del cuello con mi mano izquierda y lo agache, después de esto lo recibí con una serie de golpes en las costillas, cuando se me hicieron suficientes lo lance a un mesabanco donde callo sentado, ahí lo deje y me di la vuelta creyendo que había sido vencedor, subestimando a mi adversario.
De pronto sentí como mi enemigo se había colgado de mi espalda intentando ahorcarme, a esto yo respondi con un acto de salvajismo del cual hasta este momento estoy orgulloso, me lance contra un muro y lo estrelle ahí, pero en mi furia no me di cuenta que el muro era de un material llamado tablaroca el cual no desistiría esta clase de presión, así que la física entro en acción y el joven que se encontraba previamente en mi espalda quedo incrustado en la pared falsa.

Este fue el momento en el que el profesor entro al salón y vio a un alumno saliendo de la pared y supuso que algo había pasado.


No me llamaron la atención y me pidieron solo cal para tapar el hoyo que había creado. Y hasta hoy en día recuerdo con perfecto detalle mi pelea y como la política a veces no sirve de nada (a veces jaaaaa)

20 comentarios:

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